Due to a twist of fate,
Gin-san was entrusted with the Universal Clock, which controls time across the universe,
by the Watchmen of Time.
However, he accidentally destroyed it,
causing the universe's time to stop.
As the only ones left unaffected by the laws of time,
we tried to get the world back on track by
frantically jumping to various points in the past and future.
But not only did we fail to repair the clock,
we kept ending up in futures where someone met an untimely fate.
Damn it. There's gotta be a way.
There's gotta be a way to save everyone.
I know it...
I'm sure of it!
You... still have that much strength in you?!
I'll die with you!
Let go!
I'm sorry.
I'll never pick my nose again!
I'm not falling for your tricks again!
Sorry to keep you waiting.
Are you ready?
Do it!
W-Wait!
Special Beam Attack!
Even a Matsui Stick Can't Handle Some Kinds of Dirt
This is hopeless.
No matter how many times we try, we keep reaching a future where
either the geezer or Hasegawa-san dies.
How did the future come to this?!
Also, they're both dead here!
What did you even do to reach a future where the two of them get pierced
by a Special Beam Attack?!
I don't remember the details.
However, it's quite likely
that they aren't dying because of the Special Beam Attack or getting run over by a truck,
but because of us.
Basically,
the very fact that we came in contact with the geezer to get the clock fixed
raised a death flag for them.
At that point, we were already en route to a future where someone dies.
After that, it didn't matter if we managed to stop the truck or P*ccolo.
We still couldn't prevent their deaths.
There was only ever one way we could save their lives:
by not coming into contact with them at all.
D-Does that mean
there's no way to fix the clock?
No one but Gengai-san could possibly repair it.
Are you saying the world will stay frozen in place forever?
No.
There's one route that lets us save the world.
Don't tell me...
The route where Hasegawa-san dies instead of Gengai-san?
But that's too cruel.
Do you mean to say we have to sacrifice someone if we want to save the world?
Are you telling us to choose such a heartless path?!
I'm not saying anything of the sort.
If fixing the clock means someone dies, then we just won't fix it.
The battery is running low. Please replace it.
We can just replace the battery!
Gin-san, what are you talking about?
When I took a closer look at the clock,
I found one face with a digital display that was frozen in this state.
That means it was never broken in the first place.
It was simply my misunderstanding.
This clock just has a dead battery!
Final Attack!
We should've done this from the start.
If only this moron were dead,
we wouldn't be in this situation immediately after returning.
What did we even put in all that effort for?
We should've checked over the whole clock first.
Who would've thought it just had a dead battery?
Talk about jumping to conclusions.
But now, all we need to do is replace the battery,
and nobody but this moron will have to die.
The world will start operating like normal again.
That said, why does the clock that controls
the entire universe's time run on AA batteries?
That was no ordinary AA battery.
It seemed like a type that'd be hard to find on Earth.
That's why we're going back to the scene of the crash, right?
The Watchmen of Time who were protecting this clock
might have some extra batter—
Roger that!
Hey, clear the way!
Casualty coming through!
Wh-What?
The Shinsengumi are investigating the crash site!
This is bad.
They might've already taken everything away as evidence.
That's...
Uh, Hijikata-san, what is that?
Beats me. Maybe a battery of some sort?
We found it!
There's no doubt about it.
Hijikata-san's holding an extra battery.
Guess it was just before they took it away.
Thank goodness. Now the clock—
Hey, he's frozen with the battery in his hand.
He's clutching it unbelievably hard!
I can't even get him to budge!
Step aside. Your methods are too soft.
Let go, damn it!
Instead of the battery, grab your own d*ck or something!
How is punching him in the face gonna help?!
And who are you even beating up?!
What's going on here?
He's holding on to the battery for dear life.
Is it a memento of his grandpa?
Why would his grandpa run on batteries?
It's just that time's frozen.
Using force is pointless.
Oh, I know.
We just have to move the clock
a tiny bit forward to a future where he lets go of the battery.
I get it. Good idea.
Here goes.
Hey, Kondo-san.
He's still holding on to it.
Looks like he took it back with him.
Let's move time forward a little more.
Are you stupid?
The amount of vinegar in it is what really matters!
He still hasn't let go of it.
Why is he clutching it in his sleep, too?
Maybe he just forgot he was holding it?
Let's go a little further.
Just because it's handmade mayonnaise doesn't make it good.
Let's go a little further.
A little further.
He reached the end of his lifespan still clutching the battery!
Hey! What's the meaning of this?
Why'd his life end without him ever letting go of the battery?
Even in his coffin, he's clutching it!
In fact, it's filled with batteries!
Why is this guy so attached to batteries?
This is harassment!
He's trying to interfere with us, no matter how you look at it!
Wait, could it be that he was running on batteries all along?
We won't have a chance to get the battery back in the future.
Kagura.
Gotcha.
And we're back where we started. Well just have to settle things here.
But how, exactly?
Doesn't matter how! We've just gotta do it!
If the three of us work together, we should be able to do it!
It's impossible! I told you, using force is pointless!
Oh, it popped out!
The battery...
Or, well, his arm.
What the hell did you do?!
This is why I told you to stop!
Poor Hijikata-san!
What are we gonna do once time goes back to normal?
What's gonna happen to him?!
Can you blame us?
He literally held the fate of the world in his hand!
And now we've got the battery.
It's no good.
The battery won't go in 'cause his fist's in the way.
In the end, all you've done is crush the fate of the world!
Settle down.
If we move time forward now,
surely his arm will lose strength
and the battery will fall out.
But then he'd find out that his arm was yanked off!
For now,
let's replace his arm
with a Matsui stick or something.
Why a Matsui stick?!
Well, this way,
he can clean the grooves of sliding doors, windows,
and sash windows in the blink of an eye.
Add some baking soda, and the back of the gas stove
and the corners of the sink will be clean and sparkly, too.
He'll also be able to clean spots beyond arm's reach easily.
Matsui Stick
And he won't find out, because things will be more convenient for him now.
I don't know why you're talking about
things "beyond arm's reach" when he doesn't even have an arm!
All right. Move the clock forward, Kagura.
Here goes.
Hijikata-san, what is that?
Oh, it's a battery-powered
Super-Electric Matsui Stick RX.
Super-Electric Matsui Stick RX
The battery became a part of the Matsui stick!
What's going on?
How is he still holding on to the battery when his arm's gone?!
Why has the Matsui stick evolved?!
So, does it come in handy?
Yeah.
It has the power to squeeze out every last drop of mayonnaise in a flash.
Forget evolved, it's regressed!
This has just made it harder to get the battery!
What do we do?!
Hey...
Someone's peeking over that wall at us.
Elizabeth-san!
Look, Katsura-san. A UFO's crashed in the neighboring lot.
What's he doing there?
Was he keeping on eye on what his enemies, the Shinsengumi, were up to?
Hey, Elizabeth!
Don't let your guard down! The enemy stands before your eyes!
If you think you can catch my ultimate pitch,
let's see you try it!
Where do these guys think they're playing catch?!
Your enemy really is standing before your eyes!
Were these terrorists playing around without even knowing
the Shinsengumi were in the next lot?
I guess idiots are just idiots, no matter what moment they freeze in!
But this is convenient.
I just had a great idea.
First, we make a Katsura stick.
Hey! What the hell's a Katsura stick?!
Then we replace Mayo-guy's Matsui stick with the Katsura stick.
Just how simple is their body configuration? What are they, plastic models?
Now, if we just stick the Matsui stick here and move time forward,
we can manipulate him into throwing the battery as part of playing catch!
Manipulate him, my ass!
It's obvious he'll get freaked out that his arm is now a Matsui stick!
We can just return everything to normal
once we get the battery and get the clock running again.
On that note,
play ball!
The Matsui stick is way too powerful!
It's turned most of this place into scorched earth!
Forget catch, the ball's pierced through everything, never to return!
What exactly happened here?
Hey, Elizabeth!
Here I come!
Eat this...
My ultimate pitch!
See that?
This is my Matsui Cyclone!
That wasn't even a pitch. It was just a Rocket Punch.
How'd he get used to the Matsui stick and master its use in a matter of seconds?
That aside, where's the battery?
Just how far did the Matsui stick go?
Don't tell me it disintegrated while holding the battery.
Wait! What's that floating over there?
There it is!
Thank goodness. The battery's fine—
Otae-chan, look out!
Wham
It's not fine at all!
Sis!
Oh my God!
This is the moment it hit my sister's head at full speed!
This is bad.
If we don't do something, the Matsui stick and the battery
will be blown to smithereens in the next 0.001 seconds!
Worry about my sister instead!
Wham
We need to find a peaceful resolution.
It's no use! The Matsui stick's not budging!
At this rate, my sister will...
Pachi-boy...
It's impossible to change the fact that she got hit with the punch.
If we can change something, it's this.
You broke the SFX!
What the hell? How'd you do that?!
"Wham" sounds really painful,
but look, "ham" doesn't seem like such a big deal, right?
Is that really the issue here?!
Still not enough, huh?
Ham... or something, whatever!
How about this, then?
What kind of SFX is that?!
And how'd you write that in mid-air?!
Ham
In that case...
Let's go with Ham-san.
Who the hell is Ham-san?!
Why is the SFX walking on two legs?!
Otae-chan, look out!
Why are you going "Otae-chan, look out"?!
That's Kyubei-san's line!
I had Kyubei stay silent this time
by giving her the bit I broke off earlier,
in the form of one stick and two balls.
What in the world are you using it for?!
I think it'll take just a bit more to make this convincing.
Otae-chan, look out!
There. This should sweep things under the rug.
Hey! The SFX the Rocket Punch created
is trying to stop the Rocket Punch!
What's even going on here?!
Ham-san did the best he could.
Otae shouldn't go blind with rage now.
Look, nothing's changed!
The fact that she got hit with the Rocket Punch hasn't changed!
All right. Try moving the clock forward, Kagura.
That's as far back as I can remember.
I've lost my memories from before I got hit with the Rocket Punch,
but I could never forget the gentle voice I heard back then.
Congratulations, Otae-chan...
Yes, the voice I heard back then was Ham's.
And to this day, it continues to stand by my side and gently support me.
Why?!
The boss lady looks so pretty!
But why is she marrying a SFX?!
Well, it seems like she lost her memories,
and women are highly susceptible to kindness when they're feeling down.
Way to go, Ham bro!
Ham bro, my foot!
I won't stand for this, damn it!
Also, he's totally become sentient!
He's a devil created by the frozen time.
Forcing this world, which can give form to SFX and freeze them in place,
and the original work's highly manga-like form of expression into an anime
must've breathed life into him.
No, that's a monster you created!
I won't stand for that marriage! Or that future!
Hurry up and turn the clock back!
Screw you. This is our chance to get the battery.
Kagura, move the clock forward.
Aye, aye.
Now, the couple will exchange Rocket Punches,
for that is what brought you two together.
Why's the Rocket Punch acting like some sort of wedding ring?!
Rocket Punch and Rocket Punch...
When they clash, both of their fists will crumble,
and the battery that's been clutched inside all this time will finally pop out!
That's what exchanging Rocket Punches is about?!
What part of that is a vow between a husband and wife?!
Kagura, just one more push.
Got it!
Huh?
Ham Fist!
What?
Wait, that's not exactly a Rocket Punch...
My sister's using her bare fist!
There it is!
The battery finally popped out!
Ham!
Now the clock,
and the world's time, will go back to normal!
We can make it so everything up until now never happened!
Find it!
There!
Where'd it go?!
Uh...
Gin-san, this battery...
It's not AA.
It's AAA.
The battery is running low. Please replace it.
The battery will run out shortly.
Oh...
At that moment,
the entire universe's time
truly came to a stop.
What the ham are you guys doing right after returning?
Don't just leave me here on my own.
Carrying on a show like this by myself is more than I can hamdle.
Shut up! I've been up for ages already!
Huh?
I thought I just heard the alarm clock ring...
I'm only gonna say this once, stupid curly!
You'll cough up this and last month's rent,
Whatever.
and you'll do it right now, even if you have to sell your kidneys!
The End
Urgent Announcement After This!!
Begins Shortly
It seems Mr. Sakata Gintoki has an urgent announcement for us after this.
Mr. Sakata Gintoki's Urgent Announcement
Can I start now?
You might have noticed it in the opening already,
but I'd like to take this opportunity
to present the Gintama anime's third season title logo.
This is the new title logo.
Uh, excuse me.
I've been meaning to ask about that for a while now...
Last time, there was an extra stroke beside the "tama" part,
so most people called the season "Gintama Dash."
How is this title supposed to be read?
Well, we've received similar questions
from not only our viewers,
but the production committee, as well.
You see, this title...
This is how it's written
Gint°ama
in hiragana.
I'm sure you understand now.
So, you there, the bespectacled virgin...
Read it out for all of us. Go.
Gindhama?
Gint°ama
You think this is a joke?
You think this is funny? Huh?
You got it all wrong. Give me a break, seriously.
Once more, from the top.
Go.
Ginphama!
No! Are you stupid? Die!
Gin°tama
Take a good look. You can tell by looking, right?
Hey! The circle's in a different place now!
Come on, now.
Don't blame the circle's position for your inability to read.
But it is its fault!
Sheesh. This is why your character profile has never been revised
and you're still the same guy from episode one.
What are you even talking about?
Forget it.
In that case...
All of you viewers at home,
try reading it aloud.
Go!
Okay.
If that's how you want to pronounce it,
I don't see why not.
Knock it off!
Ghost!
Next Episode
I think anyone, even if it's the producer, who gets in the way
of someone else's romance should get kicked by a horse and die.
An Inspector's Love Begins With an Inspection
Next Episode: "An Inspector's Love Begins With an Inspection."
Shinsengumi Inspector Yamazaki Sagaru.
Character traits include plain, badminton, and anpan.
And springtime has arrived for him, too?!
Will his love bear fruit?